Monday, December 6, 2010

Buster Meets the Media (and the Honeymoon is Over) - #5 of a Series of 7

President Buster had an especially bruising week as he held his first press conference and made the rounds to various "news" stations. (For those who have been out of the country, Buster Keaton defeated Charlie Chaplin for President. He has been sworn in, picked a cabinet made up of some famous faces, moved into the White House with his bride, Brown Eyes, and is now rolling up his sleeves and putting his ASS-Backwards (America's Simple Solutions - Backwards) Plan to work!).

First up: the media on the right. Buster agreed to be interviewed by a well known right-leaning pundit, who accused Buster of being a leftist, communist liberal who pals around with known anarchists. "What are you?" he asked Buster. "Are you a freedom loving true American or are you an anti-American tax and spend liberal socialist?"
Buster tried to respond, but was unable to get a word in before time was up.

He then made an appearance on a left-leaning program, whose pundit accused him of being a right-wing fascist reactionary. "What are you?" asked the pundit. "Are you a freedom loving true American or are you a millionaire - loving shill for big business?"

Buster tried to respond, but was unable to get a word in before time was up.

Buster vowed to do better at his press conference and spent a great deal of time boning up on current events.

However, the press was hungry for Buster's hide. It seemed that they blamed Buster for everything and wanted him to fix everything NOW! He looked out into a sea of angry faces.....
Buster asked them to have patience and to give the ASS-Backwards Plan a chance to work, as he just got the job, but the press simply shouted:
Americans are out of work!
There are too many illegal immigrants!
We are not safe from our over-seas enemies!
We are not safe from our home-grown enemies!
Taxes are too high!
Wages are too low!
Gas costs too much!
Are you a Democrat?
Are you a Republican?
Are you a Liberal?
Are you a Conservative?

President Buster, again, tried to reply, but was unable to finish a sentence. Finally he snapped and yelled:
"I invite every one of you who has a better idea to put your money where your mouth is and come and help me and work with me and take responsibility for the success or the failure of your plan!"
At last, there was a deafening silence.

It was not all bad news for President Buster. The public, for now, still supported him. In fact, a small video of a young fan pleading for everyone to "Stop Picking on Buster!" was making the rounds:
The fact that this young fan was not old enough to vote was a bit problematical, but Buster appreciated the support. As long as the public was with him, his "ASS-Backwards" Plan had a chance.

Wearily, Buster went home to the White House. He longed for some quality time with Brown Eyes, but she was nowhere to be found. Ugly rumors of her long hours spent with her bodyguard, Elmer the Bull, had reached Buster, but he paid them no mind. Instead, he ate a lonely dinner and prepared for his meetings with the Ford, Coca-Cola and Sony Companies to develop a plan to get Americans back to work. Buster thought it was worth investing the tax-payers' money in some private business enterprises in order to create more jobs.
The Edsel, New Coke and something called a Betamax all seemed like sure bets to get Americans back on the job again. He was hopeful......

More Buster coming soon. Follow his first 100 (and last) days:
* The First Lady as a fashion icon
* SCANDAL! (and a dream dies)
* And More!


Edna's Place said...

Excellent job on this! :-)

FlickChick said...

I am liking the "no label" party better & better.

Keen on Keane said...

Hahahahahaha! I luv Buster too and this was fantastic!