5 Movies on an Island Blogathon: It's Paradise!

To celebrate the second annual National Classic Movie Day, Rick at the Classic Film and TV Cafe is hosting  the Five Movies on an Island Blogathon. Please head on over to his site and check out everyone's "must haves."

I love my imaginary desert island. Not only does it have electricity, it has a spa, a gourmet chef, a fully stocked bar with a bartender who looks suspiciously like Cary Grant, and a DVR. But, the genie who granted me this wish put a condition on my dream oasis – I could only have 5 movies.  I begged for more (maybe cable with TCM?), but he was hard hearted and stood firm: only 5 movies or the bartender (who doubles as a masseur) would vanish. What to do, what to do……

Okay, as if there was a choice, here are my 5 films to keep me company in paradise. Each has to be a film I could watch over and over again. Each satisfies my rich, interior inner fantasy life.

Sunset Boulevard

There can never be too many Norma Desmonds

  Not only because it is simply the greatest film ever made (says I), but because it is endlessly surprising. No matter how many times I watch it, I am hit with something new to admire. This should help keep me entertained for quite some time. And I never tire of the monkey funeral.

City Lights

The poetry of romance

  Chaplin raises my spirits, breaks my heart and fills my soul. His artistry is endlessly inspiring and his humanity a lesson along the journey of life. The silent film is a visual poem that aims straight for the heart.

Gigi

Paris! Champagne! Louis Jourdan!

  Oh, just because it is Paris, and colorful and melodic and based upon a story by one of my favorite writers, Collette. It is joyous and romantic – and I like to feel that way!

Vertigo

Creepy? Yes, but fascinating

  A tough toss-up between this and North by Northwest (with Rear Window making a play), but I have to go with a film that I can watch over and over again and still have questions about. I figure this will give me something to chew on for a while.

The Apartment

Jack Lemmon's performance is shattering

   CC Baxter, I adore you. I never tire of Jack Lemmon’s great, great performance. I love every minute of this film, every performance, every tug of the heart and knowing smile. Yes, the world can be a nasty place, but all is not lost as long as there are CC Baxters out there.

  For classic film lovers, every day is National Classic Movie Day, but it's nice to get together once a year and say it out loud. 

The Irksome Jimmy Stewart

Who doesn't love Jimmy Stewart? 

I certainly adore him. In youth he is sweet and funny and very human (oh, and super cute, too). As he aged, the charm remained and a mature wisdom and reliability was added to the package. So why then are the three movie characters I find most irksome all played by Jimmy Stewart?

Rear Window

Mr. Good Times

As L.B. “Jeff” Jeffries, the wheelchair-bound photographer, Jimmy is one royal pain in the butt. I mean, here is Grace Kelly, beautiful, luscious and oh-so-available; practically throwing herself at him throughout the entire picture and his is just cranky. He is downright cruel to her, suggesting that they just keep things “status quo” without any hope for the future. What a guy. Come to my apartment, sleep with me, and let’s keep it at that. Really, every time I see that scene, I want Grace to just say “see ya.” But, I guess that would ruin a great movie. 

A girl like Lisa Carol Fremont should NOT have to work this hard

He does eventually warm to Lisa after she shows herself to have the adventurer’s spirit, but the poor thing practically has to get killed to get him to notice her. He really is no fun.

Vertigo

This is a man losing his grip

As Detective John “Scottie” Ferguson, Jimmy is an obsessed man whose disregard for Judy Barton is borderline nuts. First, he brushes off the perfectly lovely, level-headed Midge. Too normal, I guess. 

Midge - you don't know it, but it was your lucky day when you
walked down that hospital corridor without  Johnny-O

Judy holds the secret of her identity as the dead and adored Madeleine, so she reluctantly plays along with his little makeover scheme. But Jimmy is a real tyrant here, bullying Judy, bullying the saleslady who sells the suit, the dress and the shoes, as well as the beautician who must get just the right shade of blonde. 

Just one of Judy's "WTF" moments

He has a right to be miffed that he was played for a sucker, but the dragging of Judy up the tower is pretty vicious. Couldn't he have just called the cops?

The Philadelphia Story

Why Ruth wants this sourpuss is a mystery

As pompous man of the people reporter Macaulay “Mike” Connor, Jimmy is only slightly more likable than George Kittridge, the man Katharine Hepburn's Tracy Lord plans to marry. He is smart, but he is oblivious to co-worker Ruth Hussey’s devotion to him. 

Is there really more than one choice?

Instead, he falls for a woman whose character and class he been berating on a non-stop basis. He is ultimately a gentleman, but a truly annoying one. Tracy is grateful for the attention, but she has her head on straight when she chooses ex-husband Cary Grant (as CK Dexter Haven) over the reporter. He is more fun and poor Ruth Hussey only gets him by default. I’ll bet he’ll spend their marriage pining for Tracy and complaining about what a stuck up snob she is.

Note to self: quit complaining - you know you love the guy!

Of course, all of this means that Hitchcock had issues and Jimmy Stewart is a fine and complex actor. These three characters irk me to death and yet these are three of my favorite films. I think, perhaps, that characters who go by names other than those given to them are just plain annoying. That must be it.

Is a Puzzlement... Little Movie Things That Keep Me Up At Night.....

As Yul Brynner says in "The King and I": 
Is a Puzzlement!

Now, I can suspend disbelief with the best of them. Audrey Hepburn falling in love with Humphrey Bogart in "Sabrina?" I got with the program. Orson Welles' "Citizen Kane" sacrificing all for the obsession with Dorothy Comingore (Dorothy Comingore?)? I got over it. Dick Van Dyke as a cockney chimney sweep in "Mary Poppins"? I learned to love him. I am an obedient little movie goer and I can check my common sense at the box office for the sake of a good movie.

But there are just somethings that I can't stop thinking about, no matter how hard I try!

Things like:

Why do twins separated at birth and raised by different parents in different parts of the US in "The Parent Trap" both have British accents?

Let's Get Together Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!

This film holds a special place in my heart. I wanted to be Hayley, I wanted Maureen O'Hara for a mom and I wanted to go horseback riding into the desert night with Brian Keith (and not come back until really late). The fact that both Hayleys (one reared in Boston, the other out west) speak like Brits does not detract from my enjoyment of the movie, but I just wondered why no one in the film mentions it! Is a puzzlement.

Why does Kim Novak have her shoes on when Jimmy Stewart fishes her out of San Francisco Bay after a fake suicide attempt in "Vertigo"?

Kim's Brand: Shoes That Never Leave Your Feet!

I think I have seen this movie more times than any other. Isn't it perfect to be obsessed with a movie about obsession? But it never ceases to annoy me that Kim has her shoes on when Jimmy carries her out of the bay. How did they stay on? I even tried this myself (not in San Francisco Bay, but in a decent body of water) and my Manolos went out to sea.  Jimmy's character is a detective. He should investigate! Indeed, is a puzzlement.

Why does Barbara Stanwyck return Fred MacMurray's hat in "Double Indemnity" when he clearly took it with him when he left her house?

Is that a hat, or are you just glad to see me?

This is the sequence of things: Insurance salesman Walter (Fred MacMurray) comes to Phyllis' (Barbara Stanwyck's) home to renew her hubby's car insurance policy. Hubby is out, but Phyllis, in a towel & anklet, is in. They flirt, Phyllis gets a bright idea, Walter gets hot, tells Phyllis he has her number is then shown the door. He picks up his hat and puts it on his head as he walks out the door. Later, there is a knock at Walter's door. Phyllis has delivered a forgotten hat to Walter at this home. She doesn't seem to have a hat, yet Walter tells her to put it on the chair. What is going on here? Is a puzzlement.

Why does everyone refer to Joan Fontaine in  "Suspicion," "Rebecca" and "Jane Eyre" as mousy and unattractive? Are they kidding?

I wonder if anyone can see my copy of "In Style"
 inside of this dreary book.

Typical of Hollywood to make beauteous Joan a plain Jane. Of course, in Hollywood, even plain people are beautiful. Real plain people are not allowed.

But really, how many times does Joan have to be called plain? First, by virtually everyone in "Rebecca." Next, the characters in "Suspicion" were none too kind, with Cary Grant calling her "Monkey Face." Orson Welles in "Jane Eyre" thought her quite mousy, too (although Olivier, Grant and Welles found her charming enough to pursue). Look at her! She's gorgeous! Yes, is a puzzlement.

In "Torrid Zone," Ann Sheridan leaps from a banana train, gets thrown in jail, sweats up a storm in the tropics and never once gets her white dress dirty. How does she do that?

Ann laughs because nothing Jimmy can throw at Ann
 can get her dress dirty (or maybe she is just laughing at that mustache?)

Ann is a down on her luck nightclub singer who somehow winds up on a tropical banana plantation. It is hot, it is dusty and not too sanitary. How does she manage to keep the same white outfit clean, pressed and immaculate (not to mention the hair and make up)? Indeed - is a puzzlement.

Now, maybe I am missing some things (it's been known to happen) or maybe key scenes were cut from the films' final versions. Anyway, I've been trying to come up with some plausible answers and I think maybe I have!

Possible Solutions:

Parent Trap: Hayley's Boston Grandmother (Cathleen Nesbitt) is British. She is also quite formidable and demanding. Is it possible that she commanded the twins to speak the King's English while in Maureen's womb?

Vertigo: Being that Kim's character was really a criminal, is it possible that she glued them to her hose so that, in the even she had to beat it, or worse- walk home if Jimmy didn't "save" her, she wouldn't lose her shoes? 

Double Indemnity: Phyllis D and Walter must have been talking in code. There was no hat, but Walter invites her in anyway. He might have been dumb, but he wasn't that dumb!

Joan Fontaine: All of these people who call her plain are really friends of Olivia De Havilland and are just plain jealous. A vast conspiracy, IMHO.

Torrid Zone: Annie was a smart shopper. Once she saw an outfit she liked, she bought multiple versions. As far as hair and makeup - well, she was just a natural beauty, no?

Since I love all of these movies - despite my petty nit-picking - I shall continue to overlook these little nagging questions and just sit back and enjoy the show. After all, if I were going to question EVERYTHING, well then, why doesn't Charles Foster Kane's mother, who allegedly loved him so much, ever see him after she gets the money? Did she run away with someone? And why do the bad guys in "North by Northwest"believe Cary Grant is Kaplan when all of the newspapers are calling him Thornhill? Don't they read the papers? And why are there no Arabs or Africans in "Casablanca"? And didn't I just say I was going to STOP asking these questions?