Showing posts with label Joan Fontaine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joan Fontaine. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Is a Puzzlement... Little Movie Things That Keep Me Up At Night.....

As Yul Brynner says in "The King and I": 
Is a Puzzlement!

Now, I can suspend disbelief with the best of them. Audrey Hepburn falling in love with Humphrey Bogart in "Sabrina?" I got with the program. Orson Welles' "Citizen Kane" sacrificing all for the obsession with Dorothy Comingore (Dorothy Comingore?)? I got over it. Dick Van Dyke as a cockney chimney sweep in "Mary Poppins"? I learned to love him. I am an obedient little movie goer and I can check my common sense at the box office for the sake of a good movie.

But there are just somethings that I can't stop thinking about, no matter how hard I try!

Things like:

Why do twins separated at birth and raised by different parents in different parts of the US in "The Parent Trap" both have British accents?
Let's Get Together Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!
This film holds a special place in my heart. I wanted to be Hayley, I wanted Maureen O'Hara for a mom and I wanted to go horseback riding into the desert night with Brian Keith (and not come back until really late). The fact that both Hayleys (one reared in Boston, the other out west) speak like Brits does not detract from my enjoyment of the movie, but I just wondered why no one in the film mentions it! Is a puzzlement.

Why does Kim Novak have her shoes on when Jimmy Stewart fishes her out of San Francisco Bay after a fake suicide attempt in "Vertigo"?
Kim's Brand: Shoes That Never Leave Your Feet!
I think I have seen this movie more times than any other. Isn't it perfect to be obsessed with a movie about obsession? But it never ceases to annoy me that Kim has her shoes on when Jimmy carries her out of the bay. How did they stay on? I even tried this myself (not in San Francisco Bay, but in a decent body of water) and my Manolos went out to sea.  Jimmy's character is a detective. He should investigate! Indeed, is a puzzlement.

Why does Barbara Stanwyck return Fred MacMurray's hat in "Double Indemnity" when he clearly took it with him when he left her house?
Is that a hat, or are you just glad to see me?
This is the sequence of things: Insurance salesman Walter (Fred MacMurray) comes to Phyllis' (Barbara Stanwyck's) home to renew her hubby's car insurance policy. Hubby is out, but Phyllis, in a towel & anklet, is in. They flirt, Phyllis gets a bright idea, Walter gets hot, tells Phyllis he has her number is then shown the door. He picks up his hat and puts it on his head as he walks out the door. Later, there is a knock at Walter's door. Phyllis has delivered a forgotten hat to Walter at this home. She doesn't seem to have a hat, yet Walter tells her to put it on the chair. What is going on here? Is a puzzlement.

Why does everyone refer to Joan Fontaine in  "Suspicion," "Rebecca" and "Jane Eyre" as mousy and unattractive? Are they kidding?
I wonder if anyone can see my copy of "In Style"
 inside of this dreary book.
Typical of Hollywood to make beauteous Joan a plain Jane. Of course, in Hollywood, even plain people are beautiful. Real plain people are not allowed.

But really, how many times does Joan have to be called plain? First, by virtually everyone in "Rebecca." Next, the characters in "Suspicion" were none too kind, with Cary Grant calling her "Monkey Face." Orson Welles in "Jane Eyre" thought her quite mousy, too (although Olivier, Grant and Welles found her charming enough to pursue). Look at her! She's gorgeous! Yes, is a puzzlement.

In "Torrid Zone," Ann Sheridan leaps from a banana train, gets thrown in jail, sweats up a storm in the tropics and never once gets her white dress dirty. How does she do that?
Ann laughs because nothing Jimmy can throw at Ann
 can get her dress dirty (or maybe she is just laughing at that mustache?)
Ann is a down on her luck nightclub singer who somehow winds up on a tropical banana plantation. It is hot, it is dusty and not too sanitary. How does she manage to keep the same white outfit clean, pressed and immaculate (not to mention the hair and make up)? Indeed - is a puzzlement.

Now, maybe I am missing some things (it's been known to happen) or maybe key scenes were cut from the films' final versions. Anyway, I've been trying to come up with some plausible answers and I think maybe I have!

Possible Solutions:

Parent Trap: Hayley's Boston Grandmother (Cathleen Nesbitt) is British. She is also quite formidable and demanding. Is it possible that she commanded the twins to speak the King's English while in Maureen's womb?
Vertigo: Being that Kim's character was really a criminal, is it possible that she glued them to her hose so that, in the even she had to beat it, or worse- walk home if Jimmy didn't "save" her, she wouldn't lose her shoes? 
Double Indemnity: Phyllis D and Walter must have been talking in code. There was no hat, but Walter invites her in anyway. He might have been dumb, but he wasn't that dumb!
Joan Fontaine: All of these people who call her plain are really friends of Olivia De Havilland and are just plain jealous. A vast conspiracy, IMHO.
Torrid Zone: Annie was a smart shopper. Once she saw an outfit she liked, she bought multiple versions. As far as hair and makeup - well, she was just a natural beauty, no?

Since I love all of these movies - despite my petty nit-picking - I shall continue to overlook these little nagging questions and just sit back and enjoy the show. After all, if I were going to question EVERYTHING, well then, why doesn't Charles Foster Kane's mother, who allegedly loved him so much, ever see him after she gets the money? Did she run away with someone? And why do the bad guys in "North by Northwest"believe Cary Grant is Kaplan when all of the newspapers are calling him Thornhill? Don't they read the papers? And why are there no Arabs or Africans in "Casablanca"? And didn't I just say I was going to STOP asking these questions?