The results are in! Enjoy and thanks to all who played along!
JAN
MINER:
JOHN
WAYNE and ELIZABETH TAYLOR were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this
would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE BOISTEROUS
LAMPSHADE.”
As
hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress
in PLUM VESTS and enter the stage holding one another's ELBOW singing “Hooray
for CENTRAL PARK.”
While
rehearsing, JOHN WAYNE kept hogging the stage, so ELIZABETH TAYLOR decided to
throw a BANANA at him. This knocked JOHN WAYNE on his KNEE and made him miss
the awards. In retaliation, JOHN WAYNE took out a billboard overlooking
ELIZABETH TAYLOR 'S house that said "Never trust ELIZABETH TAYLOR who is a
SMELLY HEAVY BRACELET.”
ELIZABETH
TAYLOR was outraged and drove her car right over JOHN WAYNE’S prized STAPLER.
But when "THE BOISTEROUS LAMPSHADE” was released, their film was a hit and
JOHN WAYNE planted a great big kiss on ELIZABETH TAYLOR 'S BELLY BUTTON.
PATTI:
GARY
COOPER and RITA HAYWORTH were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would
be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE DELIGHTFUL TEAPOT.”
As
hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress
in TAUPE PAJAMAS and enter the stage holding one another's WRIST singing
“Hooray for LAKE TAHOE.”
While
rehearsing, GARY COOPER kept hogging the stage, so RITA HAYWORTH decided to
throw an OCEAN at him. This knocked GARY COOPER on his LIPS and made him miss
the awards. In retaliation, GARY COOPER took out a billboard overlooking RITA
HAYWORTH 'S house that said "Never trust RITA HAYWORTH who is a TREMENDOUS
ANGRY PIANO.”
RITA
HAYWORTH was outraged and drove her car right over GARY COOPER’S prized LAMB.
But when "THE DELIGHTFUL TEAPOT” was released, their film was a hit and
GARY COOPER planted a great big kiss on RITA HAYWORTH 'S EAR.
JOEL65913:
LINDA
DARNELL and WILLIAM HOLDEN were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this
would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE AGELESS
CASTLE.”
As
hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress
in PERIWINKLE BLUE SKIRTS and enter the stage holding one another's HAND
singing “Hooray for SCOTLAND.”
While
rehearsing, LINDA DARNELL kept hogging the stage, so WILLIAM HOLDEN decided to
throw a KALEIDOSCOPE at her. This knocked LINDA DARNELL on her EYEBROWS and
made her miss the awards. In retaliation, LINDA DARNELL took out a billboard
overlooking WILLIAM HOLDEN'S house that said "Never trust WILLIAM HOLDEN
who is a DAINTY MAGNIFICENT UNICORN.”
WILLIAM
HOLDEN was outraged and drove his car right over LINDA DARNELL’S prized WIGWAM.
But when "THE AGELESS CASTLE” was released, their film was a hit and LINDA
DARNELL planted a great big kiss on WILLIAM HOLDEN 'S ELBOW.
SILVER
SCREENINGS:
ROBERT
YOUNG and THELMA RITTER were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would
be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE JITTERY HARD DRIVE.”
As
hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress
in SILVER CAPES and enter the stage holding one another's ESOPHAGUS singing
“Hooray for THE LIBRARY.”
While
rehearsing, ROBERT YOUNG kept hogging the stage, so THELMA RITTER decided to
throw SCISSORS at him. This knocked ROBERT YOUNG on his SPINE and made him miss
the awards. In retaliation, ROBERT YOUNG took out a billboard overlooking
THELMA RITTER 'S house that said "Never trust THELMA RITTER who is a
STRETCHY CROOKED PAIL.”
THELMA
RITTER was outraged and drove her car right over ROBERT YOUNG’S prized DIAMOND.
But when "THE JITTERY HARD DRIVE” was released, their film was a hit and
ROBERT YOUNG planted a great big kiss on THELMA RITTER'S SPLEEN.
CALLMEMADAM:
CAROLE
LOMBARD and GEORGE SANDERS were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this
would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE ENTHUSIASTIC
BALCONY.”
As
hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress
in TEAL GREEN WOOLY JUMPERS and enter the stage holding one another's KNEE
singing “Hooray for THE SAHARA DESERT.”
While
rehearsing, CAROLE LOMBARD kept hogging the stage, so GEORGE SANDERS decided to
throw A TIARA at her. This knocked CAROLE LOMBARD on her FINGER and made her
miss the awards. In retaliation, CAROLE LOMBARD took out a billboard
overlooking GEORGE SANDERS' house that said "Never trust GEORGE SANDERS who
is a DELICATELY IMPRESSIVE BOTTLE.”
GEORGE
SANDERS was outraged and drove his car right over CAROLE LOMBARD'S prized BASKET.
But when " THE ENTHUSIASTIC BALCONY” was released, their film was a hit
and CAROLE LOMBARD planted a great big kiss on GEORGE SANDERS' NECK.
LE:
JANET
GAYNOR and DONALD O'CONNOR were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this
would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE FLAMBOYANT
STAIRS.”
As
hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress
in PINK GLOVES and enter the stage holding one another's EYEBROWS singing
“Hooray for BRAZIL.”
While
rehearsing, JANET GAYNOR kept hogging the stage, so DONALD O'CONNOR decided to
throw AN OUTLET at her. This knocked JANET GAYNOR on her TOE and made her miss
the awards. In retaliation, JANET GAYNOR took out a billboard overlooking DONALD
O'CONNOR'S house that said "Never trust DONALD O'CONNOR who is an AWESOME
FRIGHTENING HAT.”
DONALD
O'CONNOR was outraged and drove his car right over JANET GAYNOR'S prized HAMMER.
But when " THE FLAMBOYANT STAIRS” was released, their film was a hit and JANET
GAYNOR planted a great big kiss on DONALD O'CONNOR'S MOUTH.
DORIAN
TB:
DANNY
KAYE and VIRGINIA MAYO were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would
be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE NEON TETRA FINDS.”
As
hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress
in YELLOW SNOODS and enter the stage holding one another's TOES singing “Hooray
for THE BRONX.”
While
rehearsing, DANNY KAYE kept hogging the stage, so VIRGINIA MAYO decided to
throw an UMBRELLA at him. This knocked DANNY
KAYE on his PINKY and made him miss the awards. In retaliation, DANNY KAYE took
out a billboard overlooking VIRGINIA MAYO'S house that said "Never trust VIRGINIA
MAYO who is a TANGY FLUFFY BITE.”
VIRGINIA
MAYO was outraged and drove her car right over DANNY KAYE’S prized BOMBSHELL.
But when "NEON TETRA FINDS” was released, their film was a hit and DANNY
KAYE planted a great big kiss on VIRGINIA MAYO'S CLAVICLE.
ALYSSA
LM:
GREGORY
PECK and SPRING BYINGTON were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would
be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE SHORT APPLE.”
As
hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress
in BLUE LONGJOHNS and enter the stage holding one another's BELLY BUTTONS
singing “Hooray for ALASKA.”
While
rehearsing, GREGORY PECK kept hogging the stage, so SPRING BYINGTON decided to
throw a POT PLANT at him. This knocked GREGORY
PECK on his TOE and made him miss the awards. In retaliation, GREGORY PECK took
out a billboard overlooking SPRING BYINGTON 'S house that said "Never
trust SPRING BYINGTON who is a PLUMP LANGUOROUS CURTAIN .”
SPRING
BYINGTON was outraged and drove her car right over GREGORY PECK’S prized CHAIR.
But when "THE SHORT APPLE” was released, their film was a hit and GREGORY
PECK planted a great big kiss on SPRING BYINGTON'S LEG.
TODD
GROSS:
KING
KONG and MAE WEST were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a
good idea to promote their new film called "THE SOPORIFIC DESK LAMP.”
As
hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress
in GREEN VESTS and enter the stage holding one another's TONSILS singing
“Hooray for NEW ORLEANS.”
While
rehearsing, KING KONG kept hogging the stage, so MAE WEST decided to throw a DUMP
TRUCK at him. This knocked KING KONG on
his URETHRA and made him miss the awards. In retaliation, KING KONG took out a
billboard overlooking MAE WEST 'S house that said "Never trust MAE WEST who
is a GREGARIOUS OBESE FIRE HOSE .”
MAE
WEST was outraged and drove her car right over KING KONG’S prized WATERMELON.
But when "THE SOPORIFIC DESK LAMP” was released, their film was a hit and KING
KONG planted a great big kiss on MAE WEST 'S PANCREAS.
MARY
NARKIEWICZ:
RUTH
GORDON and WALTER MATTHAU were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this
would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE UNSANITARY FUNNY
BONE.”
As
hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress
in GREEN SLIPS and enter the stage holding one another's SHOULDER BLADES singing “Hooray
for ST. PETERSBURG.”
While
rehearsing, RUTH GORDON kept hogging the stage, so WALTER MATTHAU decided to
throw A PICNIC TABLE at her. This knocked RUTH GORDON on her LITTLE PINKY
FINGER and made her miss the awards. In retaliation, RUTH GORDON took out a
billboard overlooking WALTER MATTHAU'S house that said "Never trust WALTER
MATTHAU who is a SALUBRIOUS COSMOPOLITAN SOURPUSS.”
WALTER
MATTHAU was outraged and drove his car right over RUTH GORDON'S prized BAZOOKA. But
when "THE UNSANITARY FUNNY BONE” was released, their film was a hit and RUTH
GORDON planted a great big kiss on WALTER MATTHAU'S EAR LOBE.
PATRICIA GALLAGHER
CAROLE LOMBARD and BARBARA STANWYCK were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE BOLD MANICURE.”
As hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress in GOLD EVENING GOWNS and enter the stage holding one another's HAIR singing “Hooray for WARSAW.”
While rehearsing, CAROLE LOMBARD kept hogging the stage, so BARBARA STANWYCK decided to throw A SNAKE at her. This knocked CAROLE LOMBARD on her FACE and made her miss the awards. In retaliation, CAROLE LOMBARD took out a billboard overlooking BARBARA STANWYCK'S house that said "Never trust BARBARA STANWYCK who is a TOUGH CARING BOAT.”
BARBARA STANWYCK was outraged and drove her car right over CAROLE LOMBARD'S prized ASPARAGUS. But when " THE BOLD MANICURE” was released, their film was a hit and CAROLE LOMBARD planted a great big kiss on BARBARA STANWYCK'S LIPS.
RICK29 (note: my friend Rick left out a few words, so I jumped in & helped out).
JOE PESCI and DORIS DAY were asked to host the Oscars. They thought this would be a good idea to promote their new film called "THE FUNKY CRAWLSPACE.”
As hosts, were asked to do a musical number together. They decided to both dress in RED MITTENS and enter the stage holding one another's NOSE singing “Hooray for THE CONGO.”
While rehearsing, JOE PESCI kept hogging the stage, so DORIS DAY decided to throw A CHAIR at him. This knocked JOE PESCI on his TOES and made him miss the awards. In retaliation, JOE PESCI took out a billboard overlooking DORIS DAY'S house that said "Never trust DORIS DAY who is a HUGE PUZZLING HOUSE.”
DORIS DAY was outraged and drove her car right over JOE PESCI'S prized MEAL. But when " THE FUNKY CRAWLSPACE” was released, their film was a hit and JOE PESCI planted a great big kiss on DORIS DAY'S EAR.
Many, many thanks to all for playing along!!!
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