Tuesday, December 20, 2011

DUELING DIVAS: HANDICAPPING DAPHNE VS. JOSEPHINE


Were there ever any hotter dueling divas than Daphne and Josephine of "Some Like it Hot"? These two fillies were in competition from the word "go." It's a close race, so lets examine their record and form before placing our bets.

Best Legs
Daphne: slightly bowed, ankles weak
Josephine: good muscle tone, good shape
Winner: Josephine

Best Musical Pedigree
Daphne: Claimed to have spent three years at the Sheboygan Conservatory of Music. Bull fiddle has bullet holes in it, which rarely happens at a conservatory of any type. However, she plays a mean bull fiddle.
Josephine: also claimed to have gone to the Sheboygan Conservatory of Music. However, her sax is intact, so she appears to have had the most genteel past. Josephine and her sax can really cook
Winner: it's close, but this category goes to Josephine

Best Early Speed
Daphne: jumps out to an early lead and eyes Marilyn Monroe for the finish line.
Josephine: very slow coming out of the gate.
Winner: Daphne

Strongest in the Two-Way Stretch
Both "ladies" appear to handle the foundation garment issue with equal aplomb.
This round is a tie.

Best Dressed
Daphne: While Daphne may be a grand girl, it appears her fashion sense is of the Stella Dallas variety.
Josephine: Quite chic, especially the very fashionable cloche hat.
Winner: Josephine

Best Hair
Josephine: the brunette is rather harsh and not at all complimentary to her rather milky complexion.
Daphne: Blonde is a good choice for her. Plus, the color is not too brassy, so it looks quite natural and refined. Nice finger waves are a plus.
Winner: Daphne

Most Fun at Parties
Daphne: This girl knows how to party and throw caution to the wind.
Josephine: Rather cautious and skittish, more of a wall flower.
Winner: Daphne

Least Conflicted About Her Gender
Daphne: Wholeheartedly embracing her feminine side.
Josephine: I sense some resistance here.
Winner: Daphne

Best at Collecting All the Marbles
Daphne: blows it big time.
Josephine: brings home the bacon
Winner: Josephine

Looks Like a Dead Heat!
Final Tally
Josephine:5
Daphne:5

It's a close contest all the way and there is no predicting whose nose will cross that finish line first. But, no matter which of these divas you prefer, it's a sure thing that each is a winner and that, when they are together, we are the real winners!

This is my entry in the Dueling Divas Blogothon, hosted by Backlots. Click here for the full list and wonderful posts about all of those dueling cinematic divas! Happy reading and watch out for those claws!

20 comments:

Rachel said...

This was a beautiful read, FlickChick. Trust you to come out with an entry this funny, clever, and original.

Who has the Best Brush-offs, though?

Daphne:
"Well, pull in your reel, Mr. Fielding, you're barking up the wrong fish!"

(in response to Osgood's "Do you use a bow or just pluck it?") "Most of the time I slap it."

Josephine
"Aren't you a little too young for that, sonny?"

Yeah, I think I have to give the edge to Daphne. Love 'em both, though.

Dawn said...

I really got a chuckle from your "Dueling Diva's" post. Josephine, has my vote.:)

Although, Daphne was the one to become engaged to a millionaire.

Lara said...

OH. MY. GOD. This was amazing. I love Josephine and Daphne so much. I would probably give the edge to Daphne, simply because she's so zany and neurotic, but Josephine gives her a run for her money with her marvelous use of lipstick. Thanks for this marvelous post!

Diane said...

That was so funny and I just loved it. You are the best.

Paul S said...

This is very funny and very clever!
You've made my day.

FlickChick said...

Rachel - Daphne was definitely the most fun - though together they are terrific.

FlickChick said...

Hi Dawn - Daphne had all the cards and blew them - "she" could have had Osgood! I doubt he would have noticed!

FlickChick said...

Lara - thank you for hosting a great blogathon!

FlickChick said...

Thank you, Diane. I just couldn't resist them!

FlickChick said...

Thank you, Paul - it always makes my day to make someone else's day!

Darl said...

Cute post.I think 'Jack' was the best Diva' Tony Curtis was funny,but you could see he was holding on to "manhood". 'Lemmon" was funny in how he embraced this role.. worried about his makeup,and..etc. Liked this movis alot. Still unlike the majority...just don't like tha ending!

FlickChick said...

Oh, I totally agree that Jack?Daphne embraced her feminine side! As for the ending - what can I say? Nobody's perfect!

The Lady Eve said...

I can't argue with your clever logic, FlickChick.

Even if we take the two girl-guys a few years into the future, Daphne/Jerry with Osgood and Josephine/Joe with Sugar - I tend to think it would still be a dead heat.

Great post, as ever...

FlickChick said...

Thanks, Lady Eve. Actually, if we take this a few years into the future, Daphne might me a rich widow!

ClassicBecky said...

I have to leave a short comment right, not my usual style, but I laughed through the whole thing. Favorite picture and caption: Daphne and Josephine strutting their stuff looking good with foundation garments." Good one!

FlickChick said...

Thanks, Becky - we should only look so good, right?

Kendra said...

:LOL, I love this post and I love Some Like it Hot. I think if I had to choose I'd pick Daphne :)

Clara said...

LOL, that was awesome, sooo creative! Congrats :)

FlickChick said...

Kendra - I agree - Daphne is certainly more fun and one of the girls!

FlickChick said...

Clara - thank you so much. There are sure a fun pair of divas!