Friday, October 15, 2010

President-Elect Keaton's 5-Point Program to Save America!

President-Elect Keaton would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who voted for him. He knows, with your help, that he and the Deadpan Proletariat can fix everything that is broken in our great Nation.  His philosophy is: simple is best. So, no more voluminous bills and laws that no one understands! 

Buster says it's time to cut through the you-know-what get down to brass tacks! He believes that the future can be fixed by looking backwards to a simpler time when things worked better in America. By the way - none of this President Keaton stuff. Just plain old Buster will do, thank you.

Before Buster unveils his 5-Point Program to Save America, "America's Simple Solutions  - Backwards", or  ASS-Backwards, he'd like to reassure everyone, especially those who did not vote for him, that he will conduct himself in a manner befitting the leader of the free world.

Buster would also like to address some of those "unfounded" rumors:

1. The Murder Charge:
All Buster has to say is "I was framed."

2. The Bomb Thing:
Just a misunderstanding that got a little out of hand. In the future, Buster wants law enforcement personnel used more wisely.

Buster takes his new responsibility very seriously and has put a lot of thought into his new ASS-Backwards program.
ASS-Backwards is based on 5 simple principles:

1. Honesty is the Best Policy

Buster promises to speak out of only one side of his mouth at a time.

2. War is Bad
Buster has looked deeply into this issue and has concluded that a person could get hurt. That's bad.

3. Health Care is Not Complicated and Should be Available to Everyone
An annual check-up, some chicken soup and lots of exercise is a good prescription for body and mind.

Football, Basketball and other sports are good, but Baseball is best!

4. Education is Important
Buster was class valedictorian and is proud of his High School diploma.

5. Everyone Should Go to the Movies More Often.
Buster believes that everyone could use a little more cinematic joy in their lives (and that 40 cents is a fair price).

See? Simple!

Buster pledges a clean sweep of Washington and an ASS-Backwards future!

More Buster coming soon. Follow his first 100 days:
* Buster picks his cabinet
* Buster and Brown Eyes move into the White House
* The First Lady as a fashion icon
* Buster deals with Congress
* Buster puts America back to work
* And More!


Kathleen said...

Can't wait to see what else Buster comes up with!

FlickChick said...

Buster has a plan!

Jan Miner said...

I think we're in trouble -- but will be laughing all the way.

Anonymous said...

It is brilliant, I say. Absolutely brilliant.

FlickChick said...

Never fear when Buster is on the job!

Edna's Place said...

Totally agree with Buster's Health Care Plan.