Sunday, September 16, 2012

Norma Desmond & Lina Lamont: Silent Sweeties on the Town!

Your intrepid Hollywood reporter Dora Bailey here reporting on the latest sightings in tinsel town!

What 2 silent sweeties have become BFFs and have formed what some might call an unholy alliance? Our sources tell us that former greats and current cougars Norma Desmond and Lina Lamont (you remember them, don’t you?) are joining forces and are planning to stage a double-pronged comeback.

Word on the boulevard is that Norma is penning an epic version of “Salome” for CB DeMille's eyes only, while Lina is angling for a star turn as Marie Antoinette. Norma and Lina have been spotted together around town shopping and lunching, always with their precious little heads together in a conspiratorial huddle. Norma has stormed the gates of Paramount and Lina as been sniffing around MGM (that other Norma better watch out).
Lina Lamont: longing to tell them to eat cake

Norma as Salome: is that a studio
exec's head on that platter?
Can the ladies make a comeback? We hear that Norma hates that word and prefers “return, but no matter how you word it, the question remains: will the movie-going pubic will take these 2 former divas of silent emotion back into their hearts? After all, it is a new world. 

Lina & Norma face their fears
Talkies Ain't For Sissies
The boys and girls of today's silver screen not only have to act, but speak, as well. Our sources confirm that Norma has an excellent speaking voice. Her challenge will be to shed the drama queen image of the silent era. Fans today like their stars more down to earth. Word is that our Miss Norma actually believed all of that publicity (can you imagine?). But, we hear she has a younger writer helping her whip that "Salome" script into shape. Let's hope he can steer La Desmond into modern times.
Norma and her writer work on the script.
Lina's voice may be more problematical and maybe, just maybe, the role of Marie Antoinette might not be the right return vehicle for her (especially if it is a musical). True, she looks gorgeous in period costumes, but unless Marie was born in the Bowery, it might be hard for the public to accept her as the French queen of opulence. And since the collapse of Monumental Pictures, Lina may have some difficulty finding another studio to call home.
Lina works the MGM executives and angles for a good part

Our humble suggestions:
Norma: Darling, try to remember that you are an actress first and a star second and maybe you and that script writer if yours can convince Paramount to take a chance on you.
Lina: Honey, your fortune may well rest in comedy. There can never be enough zany blondes and we all know that you can take a pie in the kisser!

All we can say is – good luck ladies and we who once worshiped you wish you the greatest success! We'll be watching. Until next time, this is Dora Bailey from the streets of Tinsel Town!
Paramount & MGM: Watch out!
" I caaaaaaaaaaaaaan't wait to see my new movie!!"

* For those who still hold Lina Lamont dear to their heart, her fan club is still out there, refusing to let her be forgotten. For more info, click here.


Kimberly J.M. Wilson said...

Cute. What a great pair. But how do they get along so well, as they are obviously competitors?

Silver Screenings said...

Ha! What a great post! By coincidence, I was able to see "Sunset Boulevard" on the big screen today (and it was utterly fabulous).

FlickChick said...

Kim - I think they have agreed to agree that they are both utterly fabulous.

FlickChick said...

Thanks, silverscreenings. And, boy am I jealous! I would love to see Norma on the big screen. After all,she is big, isn't she?

Christian Esquevin said...

FlickChick - of course in Holywood fiction is stranger than truth. That very "let them eat cake" set that you show Lina in did indeed have prop statuary from MGM's "Marie Antoinette," which of course starred the other Norma. And Gloria Swanson did give a go at MGM in the late 30s, but things just didn't work out. Her come-back would have to wait for a greater occasion. Thanks for spotting these two for us.


It would be marvelous to see them together in a movie, no matter how different are their acting styles.
Lina as Marie Antoinette would have been fabulous, even more with Don Lockwood as Count Axel de Fersen!

FlickChick said...

Christian - wow - that is so interesting. Well, Lina does look like a good Marie Antoinette and funny how Gloria was hanging around MGM. It's all so Sunset Boulevard-ish: a little imagination mixed with a little truth!

FlickChick said...

Le - I don't know if there is a screen big enough for these ladies to share - plus a lot of it would be chewed, I fear!

Unknown said...

ohmygosh!! Can you imagine..

FlickChick said...

Hi Dawn - yes, I can!!

DorianTB said...

FlickChick, "Norma Desmond & Lina Lamont: Silent Sweeties on the Town!" is funny and fabulous! You deftly and affectionately spoof SINGIN' IN THE RAIN, SUNSET BLVD, and films of that era in general. BRAVA, you talented gal you! :-)

FlickChick said...

Thank you so much, Dorian! I'd love to be a fly on the wall when these 2 get together!

Anonymous said...

Um... This is amazing. Lol. I see a big, silent biblical epic in their future: Lina Lamont and Norma Desmond as Ruth and Naomi!