Friday, April 20, 2012

Gone With The Wind: Part Deux or Get Over it Already!!

Beware! This post may offend. It's all in good fun, but if you are offended, well, you were warned!
I have often pondered what happened to Scarlett, Rhett and the gang on Peachtree Street and the outlying areas. I am aware that there was a faux sequel, but I found it to be rather unsatisfactory.

Could the story have continued like this? Let's catch up with our favorite characters.

Rhett Butler



Rhett returns to Charleston. However, he soon becomes bored with the stuffy way of life there. He takes to booze and loose women to fill his time. Still, there’s no one like Scarlett. He thinks about divorcing her, but can’t quite bring himself to do it. He wants her, but prefers she would come to him (macho pride and all that). Meanwhile, he drinks, gambles, whores around and generally enjoys his rakish reputation among the puritans. In fact, he has become quite wealthy, as he has invested wisely in railroads, saloons and whorehouses. His business interests would give him an excuse to go back to Atlanta….



Scarlett O'Hara

Scarlett limps back to Tara, and recovers from Rhett walking out on her. Tara, however, proves to be just as boring to her as Charleston is to Rhett. She longs for Rhett, but would rather die than go crawling back to him. And, for some reason, she still hasn't gotten that wooden-headed Ashley completely out of her blood. Whenever she thinks of some past horror committed by Rhett, Ashely always looms in her imagination as her protector – the perfect gentleman. So, after making sure everyone is doing their job at Tara, Scarlett decides to return to Atlanta and pursue Ashley once again……



Scarlett and Ashley Wilkes


When Scarlett returns to Atlanta (accompanied by Mammy & Prissy & Pork – who now work for wages) she immediately looks up Ashley (who is still playing with Melanie’s glove and talking to himself). Scarlett, in her usual can-do manner, gets him on his feet and back to work at the lumber mill. They spend every day together and Scarlett thinks she has the 2 things she loves most – money and Ashley. She and Ashley even become an “item” – much to the shock of Mrs. Mead and Mrs. Merriweather (Aunt Pittypat has settled in London - remember that). Scarlett is a bit dismayed, though, by Ashley’s lack of passion. His pale kisses on the cheek can't compare to Rhett bounding up a flight of stairs with her in his arms and lust on his mind. But she soldiers on with Ashley. After all, admitting that she doesn't love him would be admitting that she might really love Rhett after all. But, Ashley is such a bore (as that devil, Rhett, had predicted he would be). What to do? What to do?


Her dilemma disappears when she comes to the mill unexpectedly and finds Ashley in flagrante with Big Sam. Ashley, pulling up his drawers, was quick to explain that they were playing a version of that new game that was sweeping the nation – baseball. Big Sam was the “pitcher.” Ashley was the “catcher.” “We were just taking a break, my dear,” he said. “Fiddle-dee-dee,” cried Scarlett, who never allowed any worker to take a break. Suddenly it was all clear, including Rhett’s sneering laughter whenever she defended Ashley. Rhett, that varmint, had known all along.

After stumbling through the fog yet again, she arrived home to find a big pink box from Paris, France, waiting for her in her parlor. Mammy, still fighting the rheumatism, said it had been delivered while she was out. Scarlett, whose spirits were always lifted by presents, forgot all about Ashley, ripped the yards of ribbon off of the box and discovered inside a blue velvet hat that sat so cunningly on her head that it made her look 16 years old again. It was perfect! And no one in occupied Atlanta had anything like it. But who could have sent it? The only person she knew who could afford to do such a thing was Rhett. But would he?


India

Poor India. Disfigured when the Yankees burned Twelve Oaks, she went to Savannah to live off of the charity of relatives. Once well enough to travel, she left suddenly and was never heard from again. Funny, but nobody seemed to care very much. The truth is, India went to England, acquired a British accent and became a housekeeper. She had one goal in mind: Destroy Scarlett. She thought that Rhett’s abandonment would have done that, but she had to admit that Scarlett was a resilient one.



India now is unrecognizable from her former self. Her skin is leathery, her eyes yellow and watery and her hair totally gray. Her hatred for Scarlett burned at a low ember, but news of Ashley’s disgrace had come to her from Aunt Pittypat (who only knew her as Mrs. Gray). Ashley – living in ShantyTown with Big Sam, wearing Melanie’s old clothes and associating with the darkies! Thank God for Melanie’s relatives, who have taken care of little Beau.

That Scarlett – it was all her fault! Her loose ways and contempt for decent society had corrupted her brother. Mammy must be getting very old. Surely, now that Scarlett was back in Atlanta she would be in need of a good housekeeper…….



Will India's plan to ruin Scarlett progress or will she forget what story she is in? Will Scarlett and Rhett get back together? Will Big Sam and Ashley elope to Paris with Scarlett's new hat? Will the meds kick in soon?

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Will big Sam get married and move to New York? Will India's eyes ever stop running? Will Ashley and Sam come to blows over the big blue hat? Will Scarlett join the whore house and meet up with Rhett?
That was very funny, I loved it.

FlickChick said...

I know who you are - you are just afraid to reveal your identity - but I am glad you liked it.

Anonymous said...

OH NO YOU DON'T...

Mythical Monkey said...

I was reading along thinking, "yeah, that makes sense, I can see that" then got to the Big Sam bit and just laughed out loud and kept on laughing. Great stuff!

FlickChick said...

Thanks, Monkey! I am so glad that someone out there shares my slightly twisted sense of humor. Not expecting too many comments on this one, but what can I say - the devil made me do it!

wyatts-classics said...

I thought for sure you'd say Mammy started a pancakes and maple syrup business. Fun post. Thanks.

ClassicBecky said...

If the devil made you do it, the old demon did something good for once. I almost peed my pants laughing. Ashley wearing Melanie's old clothes shacked up in Shantytown with Big Sam ... you are so sick and twisted I remembered immediately why I like you! If GWTW had been a TV show, "India's Revenge" would be a spin-off series. It might last only as long as the "Caveman" series, but it would be fun while it lasted!

I love GWTW, and I also love parody ... I'd love to see GWTW Part Deux Part Two!

KimWilson said...

Something really wrong happened here--but I loved it! Have you seen any antebellum clad people wielding pitchforks outside your home? You are brave. LOL

John Peurach said...

Who knew that Little Ms. FlickChick was such a total, must-read/forever laugh at Spoofateer of the first order? Well, to tell you the truth, I did, back when she busted a gut over someone's backhand stab at making fun of a former, deer in the headlights Commander-In-Chief, but that's another story. In the meantime, we got this there yarn that she apparently couldn't help but unwind (and then some) for our collective somewhere out there/in here satirical pleasure. And well, boy is my along for the slide laughter tired after tripping and falling through this one. In other words, outstanding work herein, Ms. FC. You totally nailed it right from the get-go. And/or, especially from that point in the would-be sequel-like program when Scarlett, upon discovering a now armless and legless former Confederate soldier on the door step of Tara, apparently there looking for any kind of work, just had to ask, "And what pray tell could you do for me around here that isn't being done already?" To which the still somewhere able bodied Southern gentleman boldly replied, "I rang the door bell didn't I?" In still other words, I sincerely believe you got even more major sequels brewing up in your can't miss heart and mind just waiting to happen. And, on account of that, let me just say that I, for one, cannot wait to read any sort of follow-up scenario you could dream up that might otherwise fall under the title of "My After Dinner Snack (Only Partially Held Down) With Andre." Or, something like that.

FlickChick said...

@ Wyatts-classics: Oh no - I think Mammy would have started writing an etiquette column under an assumed name - as she seemed to be the only one who knew how to behave!

FlickChick said...

Thanks Becky for having the courage to comment! I love making a little fun of our beloved movie characters. However, I'm afraid if I keep on with the story Daphne Du Maurier's estate might protest (as I feel like Scarlett and Rhett might end up at Manderley and Mrs. Gray might morph into Mrs. Danvers.....)

FlickChick said...

@ Kim - I know! Something wrong did happen and I'm working on tweaking the doses of hallucinogens! (thanks for supporting the blogging insane).

FlickChick said...

Well, John - I think I was channeling you when I write this! I do love parody and do appreciate it when others find it amusing (and don't hate me). As for My Snack With Andre - I am working on the purging scene as we speak!

ClassicBecky said...

I love it! Manderley and Mrs. Danvers -- great idea. And it didn't take any bravery to applaud something unique and funny as hell!

Dawn said...

Whew!! I thought you were going to have Ashley and Scarlett, living happily ever after..

Anything, but that!!

FlickChick said...

Dawn - never in a million years would I ruin the story like that!

Page said...

OH WOW! lol
You have made my weekend with this weird but delicious take on our favorite misguided, flawed characters.
When you stated Rhett has turned to liquor and loose women you're saying his life has stayed the same then? ZING

Ashley and Big Sam had me laughing. I worried that a continuation of the story would be boring, drag on for ages like the first bu no, no!

Please tell me you'll be continuing on FlickChick. Don't you dare leave us with this tantalizing teaser.
Page

FlickChick said...

Thanks, Page, but I am afraid if I go further with this the Daughters of the Confederacy will start a petition!

Martin Turnbull (the Garden of Allah novels) said...

As it happens I'm reading GWTW right now for the first time in 30 years so all these characters are quite vivid to me. I hadn't thought about what might happen to them after the end of the book ... and now I know! Thanks for a great post. (I think you surprised us all...!)

FlickChick said...

Well, Martin, you just never know how things are going to turn out now, do you?

Didi Iashin said...

(From Brazil)

So, GWTW meets Dallas, and YAY!!!There's something I can laugh about! India's Revenge would be great!